March 15, 2021
5 Ways to Overcome Rejection
Being rejected is one of the most challenging and painful situations that you will ever encounter. We have feelings and when we are pushed aside by the people that mean the most to us, it hurts! It is normal to want to be accepted by your family and friends and when it doesn’t go that way it can have a permanent effect on you if you let it. Luckily there are some things that you can do that will aid in overcoming amplified levels of rejection. It can be done but you have to be willing to put in the work that it will take to get you to where you know that you can be!
1. Know that you are more than enough: Being rejected is one of the hardest things to disregard. You begin to blame yourself which leads to other negative emotions that can damage your overall wellbeing. Never allow your feelings to get to that point instead validate your emotions but also reassure yourself that you are more than enough. Magnifying your every imperfection to determine the reasons as to why you got dismissed is never the correct approach. This will lead to self-sabotage which is extremely unhealthy and won’t assist you in getting past your sentiments of inadequacy. The bottom line is there may be no valid reason as to why the person that rejected you made the decision to do so. Don’t allow your negative thinking to intensify because things did not go exactly as planned. You have to have a considerable amount of confidence and self-esteem so that when these kinds of situations arise, they won’t have a significant effect on you. When the pessimistic thoughts begin to make their way in, all you have to do is redirect your thinking and focus on all of the positive attributes that you have to offer. One way that this can be done is by making a list of the qualities that you acquire that make you unique and exceptional.
Ask yourself these questions:
· What characteristics do I have that other people don’t?
· What sets me apart from others?
· What skills do I obtain that I do better than most people I know?
· What are my strongest attributes?
· In what ways do I make a positive change to those around me?
These questions are just a general template of where you can start. The most critical part of this exercise is being completely honest with yourself when making your list otherwise it will defeat the purpose. Put it somewhere in plain sight as a constant reminder of just how special you are! No one should be given the power to make you feel less than you know you’re capable of. Get your control back, know that you are enough, and keep on moving!
2. Find out the root cause of your fear of rejection: Often times there is a root cause of why we feel the way we do when it comes to not being fully accepted. It is natural for us to want to feel loved and appreciated by our partner, family, co-workers, and friends. It is when the fear of rejection begins to control you that it can lead to other problems in our lives.
For instance:
· You are afraid to ask for the promotion that you deserve. (for fear of rejection)
· In your relationship, you are timid when it comes to speaking up against something you don’t agree with.
· When it comes to friendships, you go along with whatever everyone else is doing even though you have a difference of opinion.
Having an overwhelming sensation against being rejected can hinder you from developing a strong, powerful, and healthy mindset. That is why getting down to the base of the problem is so vital so that you can begin to overcome your fear of exclusion. The truth of the matter is every one of us deals with these types of emotions in one capacity or another. We all want to feel like we are a partner in our relationship, valued by our friends, and are a part of the team. Take a look back at your life and see if there was anything that can be causing you to have a stronger fear of rejection than most people.
For example:
· Were you bullied as a child and those feelings carried over into adulthood?
· Were you provided with an inadequate amount of love in your household?
· Was there any abuse: physical, sexual, mental, or emotional that you haven’t gotten past?
· Was there a traumatic experience that you haven’t healed from: divorce, being cheated on, feelings of abandonment, etc.?
All of these are factors that can tie in to why you are harboring the panic of not being fully appreciated. Some of the ways that you can get closure from the barriers that are holding you back are; you can meditate on the Word of God, you can open up to someone that you trust so that you can vent and let it out, you can seek professional help, or you can uplift yourself with daily positive affirmations. There are many avenues that you can take that will get you on the right track it all depends on what will work best for you. Don’t get discouraged and don’t let rejection stop you from your purpose!
3. Refrain from self-blame: When handling moments where you have been excluded in one way or another, the first normal response is to blame yourself. Thoughts like “I’m not good enough, or I don’t have what it takes” tend to flood your mind. Avoid self-blame and acknowledge the fact that more than likely the person that is rejecting you doesn’t even have a clue just how valuable you truly are. They didn’t give you the chance to show your full potential. A lot of times we look at ourselves analyzing our flaws, shortcomings, and deficiencies and amplify them. Self-blame will only bring out negative emotions like depression, anxiety, hopelessness, and low self-esteem which will not help your situation, it will only make it worse.
You want to acknowledge your emotions while making sure that they don’t dominate and overwhelm you. Don’t stay fixated on one particular situation where things didn’t go quite your way, instead embrace your feelings and manage them. Anyone that has experienced an instance where they were not completely welcomed would feel the same way that you do so know that you are most definitely not alone. What you have to do is be mindful of is the intensity of the fear of rejection that you are experiencing. Learn how to stabilize it and come to a healthy balance. Don’t allow it to take over your confidence, self-assurance, or your tenacity because that is when it becomes problematic.
4. Use rejection to make you stronger: Think back to all of the times that you didn’t get the job you applied for, were dismissed by someone you were in a relationship with, or ignored by one of your so called “friends.” Every one of those instances was necessary in order for you to grow, develop, and become the strong person that you are today. If you never had to face adversity you wouldn’t have the slightest clue how to handle those circumstances when they present themselves. Learn something from every difficult position that you are put in,
For instance:
· If you find yourself dealing with the same pattern of rejection when trying to date, take a step back and look at the type of person you are chasing after. Are there similarities? If so, you are going after the wrong kind of person.
· If you are being ignored by someone that you call your friend, analyze the person that you are friends with. Do they possess quality characteristics that you want to be surrounded by? Nine times out of ten if they are quick to dismiss you they could really care less about your feelings in the first place.
· If you are being disregarded by your spouse of significant other make it a point to take every opportunity to voice your opinion. Learning to stand up for yourself when you are being mistreated is a great way to take your power back.
In every one of these instances there is a lesson to be learned. Use each situation to help you mature and become stronger. Remember if you never had to endure hardship you would never be able to be stretched to your fullest potential. You have to realize that rejection is not something that is automatically your fault. People are going to be who they truly are and there is no way that you can change that. What you can do is control your actions, behaviors, and responses to those individuals. You are the one that ultimately decides what you will or will not tolerate from other people. If you find yourself continually being dismissed by the same person over and over again, stay away from them. You do not have to entertain their toxicity.
5. Don’t allow it to prevent you from moving forward: When dealing with exclusion from the people that mean the most to you, it can be extremely heartbreaking. It makes you want to isolate yourself from people in general. Trust me; we have all been there at one time or another. Not being genuinely accepted by your family and friends is hurtful to say the least. It makes you more reserved and cautious about trying anything for the first time, verbalizing your opinions, or meeting new people. If we’re honest about it being deliberately excluded does something to your ego and it is embarrassing and uncomfortable. All of these feelings are justifiable but what you don’t want to happen is to allow your emotions to prevent you from moving forward in life.
There are two important things that you want to avoid because they will keep you stagnant:
· Oversimplifying your encounter of rejection with every similar experience that you have moving forward. Just because you got over looked in one instance does not mean that it will happen every single time you try to advance in life. Having this frame of mind will hinder you from job opportunities, authentic relationships, and exploring new talents.
· Not letting go of the fact that you got rejected in the first place. If you allow your mind to stay consistently on the negative situation, the only thing that can happen is self-destruction. You will begin to develop emotions of uncertainty, fear, and apprehension.
Just remember that failure is a necessity in order for you to develop character and depth when it comes to your individuality. View every one of your adverse circumstances as opportunities instead of obstacles. This will guide you in heading in the right direction instead of obstructing you from moving forward!
Bonus
Scriptures that help with rejection: